So far, no match in all of China

3/22-25/10  Monday-Thursday

Teri received her high dose Ara-C (HDAC – 30 times higher dose than used during induction) for six days – and was discharged on Tuesday 23rd.  Dr. H. indicates that this same but higher dose consolidation is designed to clean up additional malignant blasts and acts differently than it does during induction.  He explains that we are dealing in log units e.g. trying to knock 10¹² malignant cells initially down to below 10⁶ blasts – a big job.  Although she will become neutropenic (low infection fighting white cells) again, it is anticipated she will tolerate it better this time around, and so she can go home

Teri is actively listening to The Help (16 CD’s), the story of three African-American maids who are serving in upper class white households in Jackson, Mississippi in the 1960s.

On Monday, Dr. H. gives us the disappointing news that there is no match in China.  Given the putative size of the mainland registry, we are taken aback.  Our hope, the statistics, the professional connections we developed and the outreach by friends and family in China, have not born fruit.  We are left pondering the uncertain options without knowing the probabilities yet … chemotherapy only with a significant risk of relapse vs. unrelated umbilical cord blood transplant of harvested stem cells.  He needs two cord units but only has one.  However, one unit can be amplified at several centers around the country.  If done, it will require staying 3 months at one of those centers.

On Tuesday, we have our first argument over minor issues such as my mental fatigue, stress and frustration.  The 800 lb gorilla is as Teri says, “I may not make it.”  That is the real issue, the one we haven’t spoken about.  How do you face these daunting odds of survival?  How do you look the specter of death in the face?  How do you balance reality with hop and faith … Teri says I have to go beyond stress reduction to believe.  How do you express all of this … to your loved one?  We hold each other and sob, each one forlorn, together, yet alone. 

B’s Dad continues his recuperation at Milwaukee Catholic Home and the good news is that he will be discharged on Friday and happy to be in his own home again.

It is a somber few days. 

But with the special bone marrow registration drives coming up for Teri on April 13 locally and nationally through Asian Pacific American Medical Student Association, Asian American Donors Program in Alameda and LA, Organization of Chinese Americans, she is again kicking butt and singing!  And son Ben is coming home for spring week to make her filet mignon wrapped in bacon.