Vestiges and messages … Jack is changing … Poem & song ... Cards & flowers

Teri’s vestiges and messages

I have decided to remove all the medical paraphernalia but leave Teri’s belongings and her many signs up for the time being.  They are comforting and surprising.

I leave them with you as a glimpse into her microcosm.  Family oriented.  Kids oriented.  Courageous.  Inspirational.  Supportive. Organized.  Committed to rehabilitation and getting through this. 

Bedroom

Picture:       Teri’s siblings, nieces, nephews and their spouses and children

Our immediate family at the BMT lounge

Tony’s (brother) entire family

Anita (sister) with the two of us in hospital

Jack as newborn & at 7 months  ‘PoPo you are my sunshine!’

Picture of a seagull and prayer from Terri Lin (sister)

12 woodcut block prints of the Chinese Zodiac by Tomie Arai, artist spouse of Legan

Teri’s notes:  B put in night time eyedrops, massage feet

In bed exercises: 1) tummy tuck, exhale & lift up tummy 10X3,  2) leg lifts and hold 10X3,  3) squeeze bladder area and hold 10 seconds

Thanks to Jens letter, we are going to clarify some things about the “Awake Wake”  The idea came from a story from Chicken Soup for the Soul when  I said I wish [I could hear] what people say about me at my wake.  Therefore the name came about from Lois, Teri’s matron of Honor, to have an event called an “Awake Wake”.

Above Teri’s head:  Refluah Shlemah = Complete Recovery (from Becca)

Bathroom

Picture:       8X10 of Jack with a huge smile at 7 months

Calendar:    Entries up through 8/31 (Lois leaves), 2 days before she died

Note:          Saturday 18^th June 2010  Epiphany:  I will be alright.  Love surrounds me and music fills my ears

Cartoon:      A monster “You don’t own me”

Kitchen

Pictures:      4 pictures of Rachel’s baby shower in Columbus with Rachel and

Mom, Gourmet Club, Asian Womyn’s Book Club, Columbus International Program

Mia, Teri’s Montessori tutee in Chicago

Ben with 2^nd cousin Darien

Drawings:    From Kyler, Sandy’s grandson

Note:           Tai Chi, walk, stretch calves, meditate, yoga, cut photos

Dialysis:     List for 2^nd to last:  2 pillows, 2 white blankets, iPad, cell phone, apple with peanut butter

Froedtert:  Contact numbers for clinic
Nutrition:   Allogeneic bone marrow transplant guidelines for nutrition at home

Recliner

Many cards

Instructions on turning on TV

Exercises:    In chair arm lifts, pull ups balance and leg strength, in bed Leg Lifts

Desk

Many pictures of children – her own, friends’ children, former students, bluebird, her mother and my mother

Pictures:      Kill Bill Cancer (Uma Thurmond)

                   Ben climbing on a snowy incline in Yosemite

Invictus:      “I am the captain of my fate, I am the master of my soul.”

Birth:           Jack Li Cullivan born October 29, 2010

Counter

Note:           B set up 2 hours every Sunday to study for boards

Front door

Pictures:      8X10 Jack at six weeks, smiling

                   8X10 Jack at 7 months, smiling ‘Hi Po Po & Gong Gong, I love you’

Jack is changing

While crawling, climbing, reaching, pulling Jack was here last week, he broke new developmental ground.

He ate for the first time:  strawberries, tofu, stick rice, soba noodles and 1000 year old Chinese eggs (pi dan).

He learned gong xi (congratulations) hands clasped shaking them up and down – he will even do it while skyping with me.  He also learned a hand rolling over hand motion (like football referee illegal motion) always when he has a broad smile since he finds it so much fun to get everyone else acting like monkeys.

Rachel’s going to teach him some sign language.  I think he’s ready.

Poem for B and song for Teri

You can shed tears that she is gone

Or you can smile because she has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that she’ll come back

Or you can open your eyes and see all she’s left.

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her

Or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday

Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday

You can remember her and only that she’s gone

Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back

Or you can do what she’d want:  smile open your eyes, love and go on.

- David Harkins (sent by Susan & A.J. Columbus)

Something in the way she moves

There’s something in the way she moves

Or looks my way or calls my name

That seems to leave this troubled world behind

And if I’m feeling down and blue

Or troubled by some foolish game

She always seems to make me change my mind

It isn’t what she’s got to say

Or how she thinks or where she’s been

To me the words are nice the way they sound

I like to hear them best that way

It doesn’t matter what they mean

She says them mostly just to calm me down

Refrain

And I feel fine any time she’s around me now

She’s around me now, just about all the time

And if I’m well you can tell she’s been with me now,

She’s been with me now, quite a long, long time,

And I feel fine.

Every now and then the things I lean on lose their meaning

And I find myself careening

Into places where I shouldn’t let me go

She has the power to go where no one can find me

And to silently remind me

Of the happiness and good times that I know

- James Taylor  (I was listening to this yesterday and it captures us.)


Friends and flowers

Friends stop by.  I continue to find useful places for Teri’s excess supplies – Milwaukee Center for Independence.  Harriet and Colin bring a complete gourmet meal of figs/pine nuts/carmelized onion pizza appetizer, miso wild black cod (prime rib of fish), and chocolate cake + Graeters raspberry/chocolate.  Cholesterol city.

Flowers and cards come in thoughtful droves.  Teri would have loved them.  I notice they are addressed to me and the family.  

From the top:  Paul and Robert (neighbors), Grace, Jim & Mia; (Chicago);  Biblio's (colleagues), GI & Hepatology (colleagues) .