BMT Day +137 Recovering her self … a little facial … the exhibit

Yesterday entailed a 13 hour long stay at the Day Hospital for dressing change (like a burn dressing), blood draw for labs, IV platelet infusion, IV potassium infusion and a change of both neph (pronounced neff) tubes in her back by the interventional radiologist (IR).  The nephrostomy tubes have now been in place 3 months and 2 days … hoping they are only required another month.

The change in nephs went smoothly, but the new IR protocol recommends flushing the tubes daily, whereas the original urology protocol recommended not flushing them at all.  Complete agreement. 

Here is a picture with her post-operative recovery smorgasbord after a 10 hour fast.  In fact, she is often ravenous and is beginning to eat every two hours and gets cranky if food is not within arm’s reach.  This baby thing could get old.

 

Last night I administered the last dose of IV meropenum which means Teri is officially free of twice daily home infusions.  Another mini milestone passed!

Recovering her self

This week we witnessed a major change in Teri. 

Several weeks ago, the oncology team expressed optimism that Teri may be cancer-free, based partly on her clean bone marrow at 100 days post-BMT and partly on the 7 month relapse-free period since her last round of chemotherapy.  You may recall that the first remission lasted only 4 ½ months.  We have begun to cautiously and tentatively embrace their optimism.

But, my question has been who the new reborn Teri will be.  Will she be like the 2010 model.  Will she be different.  Much of the past 17 months has seen immense pain etched in her furrowed brow, more tears than flow in the Yangtze, complete depletion of her expressive energy, loss of all curiosity about the outside world, loss of her woman-in-charge independence and all bodily autonomy, and a depressed mien and apathy that I had never encountered in 39 years.  Who will reemerge from this harrowing cancer-transplant miasma? 

This week, Teri began to act like her former self, at times over the top.  “It’s a wooonderfulll day.”  “The food is deeelishush.”  Playful, humorous.  Exceeding warmth towards other with a welling of tears.  Opinionated, decided.  Concerned about my father, his health, his well-being.  Making decisions.  Engaged in e-mail once again.  Answering her phone and calling others once more.  But it is up and down.  Today was down.

I got my answer this week.  Grace is my witness.

Today, for the first time in a month, I listened to my two comfort Kim Water’s tunes that have kept me going through the most grueling times.  I noticed that I didn’t need to clutch onto every single wailing note as if its ethereal vapor could lift me above the pain and uncertainty.  The songs are still great … but didn’t carry the poignancy of listenings past.

A facial massage

Teri reached out while she was lying down and gave me a light facial massage.  I realize that it has been more than year since she reached out to me to heal me.   It reminded me how one-sided this partnership had been.  For so long. 

The Emperor’s Private Pavilion

The Director and museum staff were extremely considerate of Teri’s needs and opened the special exhibit on the Forbidden City to her before the public was admitted to allow some untrammeled time alone with these incredible objects.  We took an audio tour. 

We appreciated it even more during the quiet window.  The entry ways, wall panels with cloisonné and gold, furniture/thrones with gnarled root, clocks, portrait and palace life paintings, elegant calligraphy, scholar’s rocks represent the Emperor Qian Long’s highest aspirations.  He wrote the calligraphy and designed many of the objects which were made by the most accomplished artisans for his own private use.

We are in front of the side exhibit Emerald Mountain Ink Paintings of the Chu-tsing Li Collection.  Below are a few of the displayed paintings.

Linda got stranded in Minneapolis and the Mall of America.   Donna came and visited.  Kari came and gave a massage to niece Grace. 

We are ‘stranded’ at home on this 4^th, but our vistas … are widening.