It culminated on June 4th – the 25th
anniversary of the Tian An Mian massacre – a cataclysmic day in Chinese
history.
Dad became weak at the dinner table in his assisted living
abode at St Johns on the Lake
where he had been living since January.
Prior, he had fallen repeatedly. Either
I or his helper kept discovering him on the floor, necessitating visits to the
Emergency Room. He also set off the fire
alarm with consequent police and fire response.
Although he could no longer live unattended, he became understandably disconsolate
with the move out of his apartment.
On that recent night, he was taken to the Emergency Room and
admitted to Columbia St Mary’s Hospital.
In short order he was discovered to have a superbug infection in his
blood emanating from either his bladder or lungs.
Ben asked if he should come home. I didn’t know how imminent Dad was, but
encouraged him to come home that weekend.
Dad perked up by day 3, presumably from the antibiotics,
then began to pass massive blood clots from internal bleeding. He was transferred promptly to Intensive Care. Over the next few days, he received 4 packs
of red blood cells (40% of his blood volume) and 4 units of fresh frozen plasma
to reverse the effects of the chronic blood thinner. His blood pressure dropped precipitously and
his nurse called Ben and I to return to the hospital that night.
The doctors asked us if we would be willing to use pressor
(vasoconstricting) agents to boost his blood pressure. His living will states no CPR, or endotracheal
intubation. But there remain key decisions
on intermediary interventions lying somewhere between supportive and aggressive
measures. A difficult decision. I felt that that support was appropriate short
term. Should we do a non-invasive bleeding
scan and/or an invasive colonoscopy to localize the source? Since the bleeding was presumed to derive
from diverticula (abnormal outpouchings), the end game would include surgery,
for which I felt he was not a candidate.
Therefore, we didn’t proceed to do the tests (but perhaps should have in
hindsight). Finally, the bleeding stopped
and his blood pressure stabilized.
He recognized Ben and I, and asked appropriate questions of
Ben. How is school? Is Theresa still in San Francisco ? But he had no recollection of how he came to
be admitted. Nine days later, he was
transferred back the nursing area of St.
John’s .
Dad survived a catastrophic double hit, a superbug infection
and gastrointestinal bleeding. A near
miss.
Then, six days later, after I had fed him and tucked him in for
the night, he began to pass large clots again.
To the Emergency Room to be admitted to the
Intensive Care, followed by three more units of blood (70% now replaced). Another gastroenterologist felt it could be
helpful to do a colonoscopy and indeed he was right. He found the source. Two ulcers one with a visible bleeding vessel that
was cauterized. The bleeding stopped. In a gesture of professional courtesy, he showed
it to me endoscopically.
He survived another life threatening bleeding episode.
Back to the nursing area. He needed 3 weeks of IV antibiotics to
eradicate the superbug. He required continuous
oxygen. He had difficulty swallowing and
all liquids were thickened. He was no
longer able to dress himself or ambulate.
He lost 20+ lbs. I fed him
because he ate better for me than the staff. He spoke once about this ‘being his last
phase’. However, he remains optimistic and
awaits ‘the Mongolian prime minister who will bring a special potion to restore
my memory and eyesight to the age of 65 – the effect will last for 2
years.’ I told him that I too need a sip.
So here we stand at the precipice, on a historic
anniversary, for the penultimate historian.
As his 22/7 care taker until January, I only know too well the cracks
and crevices at the edge. And he’s been
over the edge more than once. Yet all in
all it is quite amazing how far he has journeyed. Last summer I took him at the age of 93 to Vancouver for 5 weeks with
all its challenges. I brought him home every
other week for dinners until May. I took
him out to a restaurant on his 94th birthday just a few days before
this transpired.
Watching accelerating physical and mental decline and serious
medical crises in such a vigorous individual. I know it happens to all, in individualized
ways, but it is nevertheless difficult to experience up close.
Yet I have to appreciate how far we’ve travelled both psychologically
and geographically (Lawrence, Mendham, Vancouver twice), recently, together …
and this past year I’ve come to equanimity with my life with Dad as it is now, was
(or was not), and will be.
Thank you for your support and kind comments to me.
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