Thank you for the cards, pictures and X-mas letters!
Dad
Well, it’s nearly a fait accompli, he will move into
assisted living on January 6th.
The recent spate of triggered fire alarm/fire and police visit, and
multiple falls without calling me for help screamed safety gap at me. Although speaking less and ambulating gingerly
with walker, his long term memory of Yuan Dynasty and contemporary ink paintings
remains unperturbed. After initial anger
… he is a reluctantly resigned. He will
not lack in a sunny renovated room overlooking Lake
Michigan with shared balcony.
St. John’s
has a swimming pool (he swam daily until age 88) and 3 art galleries. I’ve also arranged for home style Chinese
food to be brought in. All the best for
him! His new address for former graduate
students Bob, Claudia, Janet and others will be:
At age 92-93, we still maintained a robust itinerary
travelling to Mendham to see the great grand kids, to Vancouver
for 5 weeks, to Chicago
for dinner, to the art museum and a lobster dinner over Thanksgiving, and to his
favorite Chinese restaurant this past week.
All of these adventures had their share of logistical challenges,
confusion, temporary disappearances, and mini-fainting episodes, but we
survived.
 |
| Hot pot in cold Milwaukee |
Despite our challenged father-son relationship, I will miss
him as his daily management and dinners/evenings together have been the fulcrum
of my existence for the past 26 months.
Yet, I will breathe easier not being on the brink for 24/7.
Ben
The BIG news is Ben’s mystery woman. He was totally mum about her until we met
during Thanksgiving in Milwaukee . Her name is Theresa (!) and she is from San Francisco . Their first big date was a trip to Vancouver . They are very sucrose (natural) sweet on each
other. She met our extended family
including the Chuns and Koslov/Fultons who did not grill her to a crisp. She reminds me of someone with a similar name
…
 |
| Bundled in Milwaukee |
Shared experiences. I
spoke at the national APAMSA conference and to his local Michigan
State chapter in East Lansing .
He asks me for my medical thoughts and advice. I recall him at age 7 telling me that when he
grew up he wanted to have his work desk facing and abutting mine. A parental fantasy coming to fruition. Depending upon the rotation, first it was
pediatrics, then internal medicine, now maybe Emergency Medicine ... to be
named later. What fun to be able to cross-fertilize
professionally.
.
Rachel and John
It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s Naomi superbaby – needing
stitches on her forehead! Happy,
smiling, fearless, focused, she knows what she wants. Hmm, she reminds me of some Li/Ho women. Watch out.
I observed a few tentative steps 6 weeks ago, and now she’s fully
upright. Jack guides me down to his boy
cave for extended building/destruction and wild goose chasing. He has a budding sense of humor and
irony. I read a Thanksgiving story to
his Montessori class, a role Teri would have absolutely relished. Rachel concocts gourmet ice creams (Earl Grey/cherries). John completed two acquisitions, one
international.
 |
| "See, you ain't seen nothing yet!" |
 |
| "Don't dump on me. Hee hee." |
I work, I take care of my father, I exercise, I travel (in
order of hours), therefore I am.
I have reduced my work effort and have 9.4 weeks off – most
importantly – but maintain a national profile giving invited lectures. Each is an opportunity for renewal with
family/friends/colleagues in East Lansing ,
Mendham, Albuquerque , Chicago ,
Chapel Hill, Columbus , Pittsburgh ,
Orlando , and NYC.
Took 3 big trips. I
visited Rob and Sharon ’s paradise on Lovango Cay
close to St. John’s
for daily walk-in snorkeling which revealed a school of cuttlefish and a sea
cucumber (not my favorite Chinese edible).
Then to Shanghai
and a special visit to the new Chao Meng-fu (the Yuan dynasty painter on whom my
father wrote several books) museum in Huzhou built on the site of his original
house. Finally, 5 weeks in Vancouver with my father
in a Chinese immersion experience studying Mandarin and Chen (original) style
Tai Chi with a master, eating gourmet dim sum and Chinese comfort foods, and
biking 60 miles a week.
We presented the 2nd annual Teri Li Education award to Christine a young faculty from the U. Colorado. The endowment is now over 45K! Thank you.
We presented the 2nd annual Teri Li Education award to Christine a young faculty from the U. Colorado. The endowment is now over 45K! Thank you.
Christmas
It is a difficult time.
Christmas was The highlight of Teri’s year, finding special presents,
especially surprising stocking stuffers, playing Christmas music, designing the
holiday meals, baking away, playing board games, forcing the violin, most of
all surrounded by her kids. We can’t
reprise her holiday hearth.
This year, Ben and I decided to have a treeless, minimalist
artifice of X-mas and devote our time watching movies, playing ping pong, and
getting Dad ready for the big move. She
would understand.
Yet we still managed to evoke the essence of Christmas. Having Ben and my father together one more
time. Exchanging Christmas notes. “I feel throughout my life I’ve learned from
both you and Mom a characteristic that’s just as important to the practice of
medicine which is how to interact with people, how to treat others with respect,
how to listen. And I thank you both for
that.” Ahhhh.
I feel very blessed.
Having two children, two grand kids, a son-in-law each of whom I am
proud of as individuals. More than their
accomplishments, I’m proud of the core values they espouse, and in particular the
really good persons, parents, and partners they’ve become. I enjoy them immensely. I can’t ask for more.
Ben (now in SF) and I listen to an endless loop of Vince
Guaraldi’s (Charley Brown) soothing jazzy Christmas album given by Theresa. It’s great.
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