As many know, I finished nine weeks (39 sessions) of radiation to my prostate. Each morning it required traversing rush-hour arteries feeding Denver marked liberally with yellow and red on Apple maps. After emptying the bowels at home, I loaded up the bladder en route to prepare uncomfortably for the painless treatment. As expected, the wide field led to diarrhea, the narrow field substantial urinary discomfort, urgency and incontinence, as well as fatigue. Altogether, survivable. Yesterday, after the last treatment, I got to ‘ring the bell’ of completion, to the appreciative applause of those still in their midst of their course.
What has made this long haul tolerable and enjoyable was fly-in friends. I borrowed this strategy from Teri’s playbook where friends and family came during her 19-month illness. Steve, Kok Peng and Anna, Paul and Dean, Kari and Ron, and Cora came to support, cook, drive, reminisce and have fun. Conversations about parents, kids, g’kids, their and our tribulations, funny stories, recent travels, future aspirations … We exchanged recipes and cooking tips – most one-way – such as flavorful koshihikari rice, microwave furikake-flavored poached egg, NYT-recommended okonomiyaki. And they caught up with local extended family, akido master, ProMusica chamber fellow violinist and Ben’s family.
Although the intent was to support me, I also wanted them to have a good time. So away we went to hike, to the Denver Art Museum (even meeting the curator of Asian art), seeing the all-encompassing Maurice Sendak exhibit, going on hikes, visiting the Pearl Street Mall, taking in the expansive view from the National Center for Atmospheric Research and touring the home gallery devoted to my father’s ink painting collection.
Rachel’s family made an advent chain of 39 rings each loop to mark my progress with an inspiring or encouraging saying or corny jokes from the g’kids: ‘I got an A+ when I turned my origami paper into my teacher’ (Naomi), ‘If you get cold, just go to the corner, it’s always 90 degrees’ and ‘I made a joke about retirement, but it didn’t work’ (Jack). And I made it to the last rung. Ben gave me a complete tour of the Denver Health Emergency Room and noted he received, appropriately named the Mother Teresa Award (as we also referred to his Mom). In a bit of reflection on my ‘retirement’, I noted that 2024 was an outlier as I published/had accepted/submitted 10 articles and one chapter, including two on microaggessions towards Asian American medical students, the byproduct of mentoring an excellent bunch of mentees!
Despite the long 39 steps, my enduring memory is one of deep friendship, warmth of caring, wonderful company, and plenty of sharing – all fulfilling. Thus, whether from the radiation and/or support, I am glowing and thankful for my friends, wild and tame.
Happy Holidays!
