We passed the anniversary of Teri’s birthday, subsequent diagnosis
and initial hospitalization 10 days later, with a plethora of memories.
Recent comments from:
Teri’s internist: “I
am so glad I got to know both her warmth and tenacity.”
Teri’s oncologist: “I
think about you and Teri every week.”
Mother of Teri’s pupil:
“I miss her dearly.”
Rachel and Ben’s first pediatrician: “Teri was like a daughter to me.”
Best friend: “Teri
had a unique ability to connect with people.”
Travels this spring to:
Albuquerque (Grand Rounds, CVSA Prez Kathleen): Seeing the open desert and mountains where we
spent 10 months in the mid-70’s and acquired our dog Toshiro was a walk down
memory lane, and retelling the story of how we met …
Columbus (gourmet club Peg/Rick Susan/AJ, Rhonda/Chris,
MSU-OSU basketball game): Discussing travails
of parent care, and adventures of children and grandchildren, and querying me
about ‘moving on’.
Madison (APAMSA talk, Memee/Ray, Steve/Mary, Paul/Dean): Saw closest of friends, discussed our
remaining parents (one just moved from home to a facility), expecting their
first grandson, enjoyed Kat’s friend singing originals in a coffee house, saw
Silver Linings Playbook, ate Vietnamese, played tennis with Ray and Steve – a
great weekend! And so happy that Ray
continues to stave off AML with monthly chemotherapy for 17+ months.
Mendham (Rachel/John/Jack/Naomi): The family is now well ensconced in northern
NJ, thriving in their synergistic support of each other, John at work, Rachel at
motherhood – adeptly balancing Naomi’s round the clock feedings and Jack’s
frenetic play. They continue to exercise
together and Rachel has returned to running her 7+ minute miles even pushing a
double stroller. She introduced me to
yoga with weights. Jack bursts with
boundless energy and enthusiasm, excited and inflected speech that continuously
narrates his play, strong will and constantly learning. “the cano in karta, donesia is danger” (the
volcano in Djakarta Indonesia
is in danger). He now calls me ‘gong
gong’ this, ‘gong gong’ that (maternal side grandfather in Chinese). Naomi has a bright-eyed alertness to everyone
around her with an easily elicited smile and warmth, and four-limbed gyration over
rice cereal.
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| Pretty in pink |
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| Exploring Sandy's detritus |
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| Winged kiss |
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| Taking gong gong rock gathering |
I think about the meaning and impact of Teri’s life,
often. Her legacy becomes clearer to me,
with time. I did not appreciate it
fully, while she was alive. I now pay attention
to her echoes and faint whispers. As I peer
through her eyes, I see the many ‘little’ things she noticed, the kids
especially, the beauty around me, the relationships to be nurtured …
Most of all, it’s not about the national and local awards we
have created in her name.
It’s her family, it’s you.
Me
Somehow a better person has evolved, some the result of
processes Teri set in motion, some that has emerged by necessity. Teri was the strongest life force in our family,
which I try to emulate. I’m now more at
peace with myself, more accepting of fate, despite the daunting challenges,
especially with my father. I have seen, engaged and dealt with my family demons. I’m alive in
the present, though I often look to the past.
I’m trying to look to the future, and regain that joie de vivre.
Celebrate Teri’s legacy with your own reflections.
